tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post465770049182976238..comments2023-10-31T06:23:26.747-07:00Comments on TJ and Rita's World: The I-Hate-Xmas-Music ContestRita Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15705211010768041660noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post-23043294063285837512009-12-28T01:50:59.131-08:002009-12-28T01:50:59.131-08:00Hark The Angel Harold Sings... Better late than ne...Hark The Angel Harold Sings... Better late than never, the Grinch gets his.<br /><br />==<br /><br />Twas the night before Christmas when the temperature dropped, to thirty below, <br />and then the water stopped.<br /><br />As the pipes burst below, there arose such a clatter, then the furnace blew up! Now what was the matter?<br /><br />He tried to light the fireplace, but the flue had rusted in, so he banged and pounded until it swung in, raining dozens of birds nests... and an empty bottle of Gallo Cafe Zin.<br /><br />In the midst of this trial the circuits arced out, just as the water heater screamed like a tea kettle spout.<br /><br />Up to the roof, he shot with all speed, to confront that old fart about his joke.<br /><br />Indeed, he intended to confront the old hoke, when two steps from the top, the ladder rungs broke.<br /> <br />He fell into his pool as the water disappeared, through a crack in the earth... could it get any more weird?<br /><br />Then from down on the street he heard the laughter of the Kringle.<br /><br />As his house burned to the ground, the sleigh bells did jingle.<br /><br />When his brand-new ferrari drove out of sight, his iPhone beeped, and to our delight...<br /><br />The text message said; You're fired you schmuck. <br />Your insurance's been cancelled and you're now out'a luck.britimportnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post-34144235215344065762009-12-23T23:30:27.036-08:002009-12-23T23:30:27.036-08:00You guys thought up great ones!
I haven't had...You guys thought up great ones!<br /><br />I haven't had any time to think of a good one this time, but I wanted to share the one that my kids came home from school singing. (not my idea- so I don't count)<br /><br />Joy to the world,<br />Barney is dead<br />We barbecued his head! <br />Don't worry about the body,<br />we flushed it down the poddy,<br />And round and round it goes...<br />shoved it in with just our toes..<br />and Ro-Ound and round and round it goes!Wendy Sworehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02348745344259509113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post-79864512008455129722009-12-19T02:18:38.994-08:002009-12-19T02:18:38.994-08:00A Song For Phycho's At Xmas.
This was fun. I t...A Song For Phycho's At Xmas.<br />This was fun. I took a bit of this out for my new story, Whispers, which will be included in Short Shocks II 2010<br /><br />Deck the halls with bits of body, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br />Paint the floors with blood from Holly, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br /><br />Don we now our can of petrol, <br />Fa la la, la la la, la la la. <br />Throw the ancient fuel on Carol, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br /><br />See the blazing fool before us, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br />Strike her head don‘t make a fuss. <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br /><br />Follow me looking for treasure, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br />When I kill it’s such a pleasure, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br /><br />Fast away the old car passes, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br />Hail the cops, ye lads and lasses, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br /><br /><br />Sing we Phychos, all together, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la. <br />We love dead in any weather, <br />Fa la la la la, la la la la.Andy Lovenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post-40543117021892123732009-12-14T11:09:54.736-08:002009-12-14T11:09:54.736-08:00I'm going to put the correct lyrics first, fol...I'm going to put the correct lyrics first, followed by my own spoof.<br /><br /><b>Ding, Dong Merrily on High</b><br /><br />Ding, dong merrily on high<br />In heav'n the bells are ringing.<br />Ding, dong verily the sky<br />Is riv'n with angels singing:<br />Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!<br /><br />E'en so here below, below<br />Let steeple bells be swungen<br />And "io, io, io!"<br />By priests and people sungen.<br />Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!<br /><br />Pray you, dutifully prime,<br />Your matin chime, ye ringers.<br />May you beautifully rhyme<br />Your evening song, ye singers.<br />Gloria, Hosanna in excelsis!<br /><br />And my version:<br /><b> Ding, Dong Merrily We're High</b><br /><br />Ding, dong merrily we're high<br />In our heads bells are ringing.<br />Ding, dong eating a whole pie<br />While praises we are singing.<br />Gloria, Marijuana in excess!<br /><br />E'en so into bong we blow<br />Let stoner's talk be stumblin'<br />And "io, io, io!"<br />By priests and people sungen.<br />Gloria, Marijuana in excess!<br /><br />Pray you dutifully inhale<br />Your morning puff, ye smokers.<br />May you beautifully exhale<br />Your evening bud, ye tokers.<br />Gloria, Marijuana in excess!S.M. Carrièrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08568011755497760300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7109148405669867264.post-27447345169448113362009-11-29T17:36:55.244-08:002009-11-29T17:36:55.244-08:00SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS
T’was the night before C...SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS <br /><br />T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, <br />not a creature was stirring, except Aunt Doreen, snorting coke off her dealer Mouse. <br />Uncle Thomas was sleeping, passed out in a haze, <br />while empty beer bottles flew about with malaise. <br />Cousin Jimmy was crying, his father was cruel, <br />before going to bed he smeared him with stool. <br />The feces and liquor permeating the air, <br />gave tidings of reindeer too weak to repair. <br />Our fathers were hunters and republicans too. <br />They shot that poor Rudolf, cause he was a Jew. <br />“Commie bastard,” they wailed into the night, <br />“Come here, and I’ll teach you the real meaning of fright.” <br />So I lie on the floor in my sack made of nylon <br />and pray for the morning and its sun to shine on. <br />My dysfunctional family all round the tree, <br />opening presents while grandma screams, “God dammit, I have to pee.”Lauren Stonenoreply@blogger.com