An excerpt from Tears

I'm heavy into editing the novel I wrote last year. Some parts of this book were written rather early in my writing career, and where I thought I had beautiful prose, there's telling and junky writing.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a scene I edited earlier this week:


Before me stands a field of flowers, rolling on the hills like the waves of an open sea. The sun beams down on thousands of purple faces, soaking up the life raining down on them. I stumble to my knees and turn my face to the sun. My heart is bruised.


Oh flowers! As I knew there would be. In my dreams, I lived this day many times—my day of freedom, when my father can no longer track me—but the flowers smell sweeter in real life.

Yet I hurt down in the deepest part of my being, in my roots digging deep into the earth seeking water and nutrients. Oh Dragon, grant me forgiveness.

I owe them my life. I killed them.

“What are you doing?”

I look up to see Aren staring down at me. “I’m growing like a flower. You could try it. You’ll like it.”

“No thank you.”

“Then help me up.” Offering my hand.

He grasps my wrist, and I yank him down beside me. Landing with a thud and a grunt, he rolls to look at me. His eyes are stormy but curious. He doesn’t look scared of me. What does he see when he looks at me?

“What did you do that for?”

“Someone needs to teach you how to smile.”

His lip quirks in an almost smile.

The sun has dried my tears. I smile back.

2 comments:

  1. i love it! I can't wait to read the whole thing!!

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  2. I'm so glad you like it. I'm really excited about this project.

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