And the best monkey is...

Thank you to everyone for your participation. All of you made this a fun contest, and the entries have made me laugh until I cried.

Congratulations to all the winners! You did a superb job. Wendy and Lauren, your prizes will be in the mail shortly.

1st Place Winner - Wendy S
Renee watched the hot tub jets froth beneath the surface, a swirling toilet bowl of relaxation. Across the room, the Men’s room door opened and a massive man stepped out, like some fat guy who just arrived. As graceful as a walrus shoehorned into a tutu, his blubber rippled with every step. Unwrapping his towel, he let it fall to the floor, a discarded wrapper from the mother of all Twinkies. Slipping into the water, his limbs bobbed to the surface, his feet like buoys topped with a line of engorged maggots. The hot tub over ran like a cup that runneth over except for bigger, and with more water. Backing out in a hurry, like a person scared sh**less, Renee stared in horror at his chest hair, a waving mass of seaweed that floated out from his body like so many dead flies. Now, with the water having as much appeal as toxic waste, she hurried to the changing room and lay steaming on the bench like a fresh pile of manure.

I have 5 small children and a farm to run so I keep busy. My home is full of books for both myself and my children, and I write in my spare- stolen moments. I have just finished my first YA novel, Cotote Dreams, and am starting on my next, Fire Bug. You can read the first couple of pages in my writing here on goodreads.

2nd Place Winner - Lauren Stone

Dennis walked down the hall, like a man cruising a corridor. He reached the door, its hinges shining in the moonlight as if illuminated by a reflected glow. He grasped for the knob searching like a virgin lover. When he finally found the knob he let out a sigh like an asthmatic. He gently pushed on the door like a roll of toothpaste, and squeezed himself into the room as if being born. The room was empty save a small glass bowl that lingered tauntingly on the floor. A puddle of water purged like a bulimic from the bowls lip.

All the world’s a piss bucket and all the men and women in it merely a pile of excrement. They have their entrances and exits, and have somehow been processed and left decaying along the way. Were we to attempt an entrance through an exit we would be blocked by the flurry descending upon us, and pressed further into the bucket. The future for us is inevitable; we are to become a mass of putridity fit for a king.

Lauren Stone is an accomplished musical theater actor who is transitioning back into a writer. Already a published poet, she has recently decided to go back to school to hone her skills as a fiction writer. To learn more about Lauren go to

Runner Up #1 - D.B. Pacini

“Pantene,” she sighed apologetically, “to feel your smooth fingers weaving untangled through my silky manageable hair, like golden sunlight quivering through tree branches, to feel your moisturizing lips upon my scalp, like morning dew kissing a rose, to feel your thick richness dripping upon my shoulder, like jam on the chin of a toddler eating a piece of toast, to believe in your promise to make me as beautiful as a dove flying beside a purple lilac bush, to sleep with your intoxicating scent in my tresses, like the smell of nature’s breath in a meadow of wild flowers, it is simply not possible Pantene, my preference is L’Oreal, because I’m worth it.”

D.B. Pacini, a California songwriter/vocalist, is the author of two novels, short stories, and poetry. Her youth/YA fantasy novel, THE LOOSE END OF THE RAINBOW, the first novel in her Universal Knights Trilogy, was published by Singing Moon Press, USA in March, 2009. Her contemporary novelette, STERLING COURT CUL-DE-SAC, was published by Turner Maxwell Books, UK in August, 2009. Her stories and poetry is published in Blue Moon Literary & Art Review, USA, and in other literary journals. Her contemporary mainstream novel, EMMA'S LOVE LETTERS, is seeking publication. She is currently writing a third novel, the second in her Universal Knights Trilogy. Pacini is a volunteer writing mentor to teen and young adult writers.


Free Creative Artists Community:

Runner Up #2 - Phyllis K Twombly

My simian simile is like a wee little monkey
With the jittery java jive of the capuchin, oh.
You'll be agog and agape and you might go ape
Once snappy words, like pooh, start to fly to and fro.

My name is Phyllis K Twombly. My website slogan is 'putting fun into scifi.' I've been entertaining people by writing stories since first grade. As soon as I could spell enough words I wrote a short bit about putting one of my brothers on a rocket ship and sending him to the moon. A few years later my Christmas essay was recorded and broadcast over the local radio. I've done a few special interest articles from time to time but only recently began pursuing publication.

I'm the creator of the Martian Symbiont series, which begins with an advanced group of people who return to Earth because a space virus wiped out their women.There are three titles out so far, Been Blued (2007,) Martian Blues (2008,) and Martian Divides (2009.) I plan on publishing the fourth title next year.

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