Think about Elephants

In response to my article about the abandonment of self, one reader left a beautiful comment:

I'm still in that desperate place. I try to give the book a rest, but it will not let me go. Sigh.
--Victoria Dixon

Those words are very haunting. "...that desperate place." I am very familiar with that place; it has gripped me many times. When I thought I was free of it, it'd snag my ankle. I'd shake it loose, and it would grab my arm.

And yet I know that the road of desperation always leads to destruction and despair. People who are so desperate to lose weight push their bodies past their limitations and then overindulge. People who are desperate to make money jump into one get-rich-quick scheme after another until their dreams burn up around them. People who are desperate to find romance scare off every possible love interest before they even get a chance to know them.

Or for another example, a friend of mine wanted children so badly that she and her husband tried every fertility treatment the doctor could offer, to no avail. The doctor finally said, "Stop trying, just relax, take care of yourself, and let's see what happens." So she joined my dance class and went from a size sixteen to a size four over the course of a year. She looked beautiful, and it showed.

One day, I asked her if she had danced for her husband. She got an embarrassed look on her face. "No," she said, "I'm afraid he'll laugh at me." I think my eyes just about bugged out. To even consider that anyone would laugh at her! Her dancing was mesmerizing! So I gave her my music and told her that was her homework assignment. Shortly after that, she didn't show up very often or sent me notes of being too tired. She was pregnant and didn't even know it. Three months later, she had a beautiful announcement to make, and I was overjoyed to find out that she was pregnant with their first child.

There is only one trick I know to fight desperation, and that is change of focus. If someone says, "Don't think about monkeys." Your mind will be filled with monkeys. How cute they are. How silly. How energetic. But if someone says, "Don't think about monkeys; think about elephants." You have something else to focus on.

So when you diet, don't think about the brownies you can't have. Think about what you can have: fresh strawberries over frozen yogurt drizzled with a bit of chocolate. Mmmmmm. Think about savoring each bite slowly as the flavors melt in your mouth.

And rather than thinking about your desperate desire to publish your book, instead think about loving life. Think about long walks in this wonderful autumn weather. Think about playing with your children. Think about dancing in your living room to your favorite music. Think about learning a new craft. Think about good books and movies. Write some poetry. Learn to love your creation for its own sake rather than a means to an end.

And oh yeah, make up a word and write a sentence / paragraph using that word and enter it in my contest. Then laugh with me over the wonderful entries people will come up with. For laughter is our best medicine.

Word Challenge

Randy

adj., -di·er, -di·est.
1. a. Lascivious; lecherous.
b. Of or characterized by frank, uninhibited sexuality.
2. Scots. Ill-mannered.

But is "randiness" a word?

This weekend, I had a fierce argument over this. I said no; he said yes. He won the argument--after gnashing of teeth and the flinging of daggers and the tossing of nasty words and the smashing of pottery. One never wins an argument against the great Carlos J. Cortes, Master Word-Guru.

On my side, I had Microsoft Word and Google; on his side were Merriam-Webster and Oxford dictionaries. I conceded the point when I finally found one site that contained a definition for the word. Besides, he had the better sources. Who can trust Microsoft Word on anything?

"Dear, I’m randy; not the randiest I’ve ever been, but randier than most days. If we don’t do something about it, this randiness will kill me,” she said randily.
--Carlos J. Cortes

This thought occurred to me: Does the argument really matter? Words hold the meaning that we give them. Words are tools to convey ideas and thoughts. If the listener/reader understands the meaning, then what's the issue? Perhaps "randiness" does not need to be a word. Perhaps it just needs to be used in a way that people can understand it.

Grammar gurus still debate over whether "alright" is a word, and I found "ain't" in the dictionary years ago. What about words authors made up, words like Muggles, dren, and frell? I still chuckle about coworkers swearing at their computers in Farscapian.

So my challenge to you is to create a sentence or a paragraph or two using a made-up word. The context must show the readers what this new word means without directly telling us.

1. The competition is open to a paragraph or two containing a made-up word. The meaning of this word must be apparent from the way the word is used.

2. Submit as many entries as you want.

3. All entries must be in English, original, unpublished, and not submitted or accepted elsewhere at the time of submission. CYA maneuver.

4. To enter the contest, post a comment with your entry and then email me your mailing address to rita@ritajwebb.com along with an author's bio. In case you win, I'll need this to send you your prize and to post some information about you.

5. Entries must be submitted by midnight Friday, October 16, 2009.

6. I will choose several of my favorite entries and allow readers to vote to determine the winners. Voting will start Tuesday, October 20, 2009, and run to midnight Tuesday, October 27, 2009.

7. Winners will be announced on this blog shortly thereafter.

8. The first-prize winner will be determined by the entry with the most votes. The winner will receive The Prisoner by Carlos J. Cortes, which is coming out in October 2009, as well as free publicity by having the winning entry and author's bio posted on my blog.

9. The runner-ups will be determined by any entry that I enjoyed but did not receive the top votes. All runner-ups will have free publicity by having their entry and author's bio posted on my blog.

The Artist's Abandonment of Self

Children dance without any thought to how silly they may look. They play with utter abandonment. I have been thinking about this lately as I consider how desperate to succeed I once felt. In facing lay offs, lack of employment, foreclosure, and failure, I turned to an old dream, hoping it would solve all my problems.

It didn't.

I have put hours into my writing, into studying how to write, in sharing my stories with others, in promoting and marketing myself, and I have earned nothing, not even a dollar in exchange for the time put into it. But over the last years, something has changed in me. My goals and desires have changed. I don't write because I want the money--oh, money would be nice--but now I write because I must. I have abandoned myself to the art of expression. I no longer seek book buyers; instead, I yearn for readers just as a child wants playmates.

It's a freeing change. I still wish I didn't have to work two jobs--software testing by day, writing by night--for it has taken its toll on me. But the anxious desperation is falling away, and in its place is passion and peace.

Heaven's Corner Zoo

A couple weeks ago, we took the kids to the zoo, but this was no ordinary zoo, built into someone's backyard. Heaven's Corner Zoo and Animal Shelter was started when one man took in an animal that the owner could not take care of any longer. The compound has since grown to hold wallabies, monkeys, turtles, snakes, lizards, cougars, leopards, jaguars, panthers, tigers, wolves...

The zoo keeper was our personal guide, and he made the experience quite memorable. When the girls wanted peacock feathers, he went inside the fence and collected some. He took us to the bears and fed them peaches. The boy stood up on his hind legs, and the zoo keeper put the peach in his mouth. It rolled to the back of his mouth, and I thought he was going to swallow the thing whole or choke on the thing. But then he spit out the core and placed it carefully on the edge of the fence.

When the big macho male bear refused to get out of the way for the girl, the zoo keeper said, "Get down," like he was talking to a dog. When the male didn't listen, he said, "You know she's going to get mad at you." The bear got down. He seemed to really understand what the zoo keeper was saying.



The nasty-tempered leopard gave us angry looks. "Good morning," the zoo keeper said in the happiest, sweetest voice. The leopard growled. The zoo keeper grabbed the cat's toe. The cat's voice was a deep rumble that I could feel vibrate through the air.



The girls got to hold some snakes. I love those proud little smiles.





My husband is a wolf man. From our earliest days of dating, I learned that his wardrobe consisted of wolf T-shirts and jeans and hiking boots. We stood outside the pen of a two arctic wolves, and TJ howled at the dark gray wolf. This wolf sang back to us a sorrowful song. It sounded as though his heart was in his voice. Like sorrow's song. All the other wolves joined in.





But the best part, for me at least, was the white tiger. He seemed to think he was a kitten, and he played a stalking game with the zoo keeper. The guy sat with his back against the fence, and the tiger crept closer. He lined itself up, crouched, backed up. He was ready to jump but decided the situation wasn't right, so he slunk away only to creep back five minutes later.

It reminded me of my own cat, how she crouches around the corner, waiting to pounce on us, the twitch of her tail, the tense muscles across her back, the way she moves backward to prepare for the final leap. Only the white tiger was 800 pounds; my cat is maybe 10. It was surrealistic to watch as though one image overlaid the other. Like when my friend's daughter smiled at me and it was her father I saw looking back at me.

Belated Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day Celebration

Argh. Land ho, matey.

How many days ago was Talk Like A Pirate Day? Last Saturday? Sunday? And today is Friday. Yes, I'm a bit behind the times. The days have blended together this month like potato peel in the garbage disposal, and the end result is that this topic has come a bit later than I intended.

OK, I confess I slept through all of last weekend. That happens at times when I am exposed to a substance called gluten. Acting like a drug, it puts me to sleep. Like a drunk pirate in a brothel after months out on the high seas. Enough gluten, and it could knock me out for close to 24 hours. When I finally wake up, I'm a zombie.

Anyway, in belated celebration of Talk Like A Pirate Day, here's an article I came across a long time ago about the piracy of Intellectual Property.

Knowing copyright law is an important part of being an author.

Hope these sites are helpful.

And the best monkey is...

Thank you to everyone for your participation. All of you made this a fun contest, and the entries have made me laugh until I cried.

Congratulations to all the winners! You did a superb job. Wendy and Lauren, your prizes will be in the mail shortly.


1st Place Winner - Wendy S
Entry:
Renee watched the hot tub jets froth beneath the surface, a swirling toilet bowl of relaxation. Across the room, the Men’s room door opened and a massive man stepped out, like some fat guy who just arrived. As graceful as a walrus shoehorned into a tutu, his blubber rippled with every step. Unwrapping his towel, he let it fall to the floor, a discarded wrapper from the mother of all Twinkies. Slipping into the water, his limbs bobbed to the surface, his feet like buoys topped with a line of engorged maggots. The hot tub over ran like a cup that runneth over except for bigger, and with more water. Backing out in a hurry, like a person scared sh**less, Renee stared in horror at his chest hair, a waving mass of seaweed that floated out from his body like so many dead flies. Now, with the water having as much appeal as toxic waste, she hurried to the changing room and lay steaming on the bench like a fresh pile of manure.

Bio:
I have 5 small children and a farm to run so I keep busy. My home is full of books for both myself and my children, and I write in my spare- stolen moments. I have just finished my first YA novel, Cotote Dreams, and am starting on my next, Fire Bug. You can read the first couple of pages in my writing here on goodreads.



2nd Place Winner - Lauren Stone

Entry:
Dennis walked down the hall, like a man cruising a corridor. He reached the door, its hinges shining in the moonlight as if illuminated by a reflected glow. He grasped for the knob searching like a virgin lover. When he finally found the knob he let out a sigh like an asthmatic. He gently pushed on the door like a roll of toothpaste, and squeezed himself into the room as if being born. The room was empty save a small glass bowl that lingered tauntingly on the floor. A puddle of water purged like a bulimic from the bowls lip.

All the world’s a piss bucket and all the men and women in it merely a pile of excrement. They have their entrances and exits, and have somehow been processed and left decaying along the way. Were we to attempt an entrance through an exit we would be blocked by the flurry descending upon us, and pressed further into the bucket. The future for us is inevitable; we are to become a mass of putridity fit for a king.

Bio:
Lauren Stone is an accomplished musical theater actor who is transitioning back into a writer. Already a published poet, she has recently decided to go back to school to hone her skills as a fiction writer. To learn more about Lauren go to www.laurenstone.info.

Runner Up #1 - D.B. Pacini

Entry:
“Pantene,” she sighed apologetically, “to feel your smooth fingers weaving untangled through my silky manageable hair, like golden sunlight quivering through tree branches, to feel your moisturizing lips upon my scalp, like morning dew kissing a rose, to feel your thick richness dripping upon my shoulder, like jam on the chin of a toddler eating a piece of toast, to believe in your promise to make me as beautiful as a dove flying beside a purple lilac bush, to sleep with your intoxicating scent in my tresses, like the smell of nature’s breath in a meadow of wild flowers, it is simply not possible Pantene, my preference is L’Oreal, because I’m worth it.”

Bio:
D.B. Pacini, a California songwriter/vocalist, is the author of two novels, short stories, and poetry. Her youth/YA fantasy novel, THE LOOSE END OF THE RAINBOW, the first novel in her Universal Knights Trilogy, was published by Singing Moon Press, USA in March, 2009. Her contemporary novelette, STERLING COURT CUL-DE-SAC, was published by Turner Maxwell Books, UK in August, 2009. Her stories and poetry is published in Blue Moon Literary & Art Review, USA, and in other literary journals. Her contemporary mainstream novel, EMMA'S LOVE LETTERS, is seeking publication. She is currently writing a third novel, the second in her Universal Knights Trilogy. Pacini is a volunteer writing mentor to teen and young adult writers.

Website: http://www.astarrynightproductions.com

Free Creative Artists Community: http://www.astarrynightproductions.com/creativeartists.htm



Runner Up #2 - Phyllis K Twombly

Entry:
My simian simile is like a wee little monkey
With the jittery java jive of the capuchin, oh.
You'll be agog and agape and you might go ape
Once snappy words, like pooh, start to fly to and fro.

Bio:
My name is Phyllis K Twombly. My website slogan is 'putting fun into scifi.' I've been entertaining people by writing stories since first grade. As soon as I could spell enough words I wrote a short bit about putting one of my brothers on a rocket ship and sending him to the moon. A few years later my Christmas essay was recorded and broadcast over the local radio. I've done a few special interest articles from time to time but only recently began pursuing publication.

I'm the creator of the Martian Symbiont series, which begins with an advanced group of people who return to Earth because a space virus wiped out their women.There are three titles out so far, Been Blued (2007,) Martian Blues (2008,) and Martian Divides (2009.) I plan on publishing the fourth title next year.